Elevator Music

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I understand that the music industry is a difficult one to get into. Why not? It seems very depressing to be a musician. Maybe that’s why they do so many drugs. Then of course there’s also the death of musicians. I mean really it’s like a statistically bad thing to be taking a plane ride once you’re a famous musician. Remember Richie Valens, Aaliyah, Buddy Clark, Buddy Holly, Dean Paul Martin, Jim Croce, Jim Reeves, and John Denver?

That’s why many musicians see the road they’re headed down and decide to avoid the pathway of destruction. Some choose rather productive outlets. Brian Biehle writes music for/with his kids. Other musicians end up being high school music teachers–a fine route but it seems more like a desperate attempt to avoid eating ramen noodles more than 4 nights a week.

Out of all the possible outlets for musicians who don’t make the ‘big time’ who sells out to make elevator music. I mean really. You’ve got to call mom and be like “Hey mom, I recorded my fourth album today.” She’ll ask what’s on it. “I used a soprano sax on the love-theme from Superman.”

Do we really need that?

I’ve become an expert on elevator music. I’ve had to deal with Yahoo’s customer service on several occasions this past week for one issue or another regarding websites. I’ve listened to quite a bit of elevator music. I hope I don’t have to listen to very much of it in the future. I think that they use the music as a means to deter you from staying on the phone. Someone at customer service must have sat there and said “let’s play the most obnoxious calming music possible so people will either hang up, or be placated.”

At 30 I’m looking at life as though there are some things I’ll just never get around to accomplishing. Becoming a musician is for sure off the list. Why? I probably wouldn’t make it–I don’t want to teach high school–Drugs aren’t an option–Fiery plane crashes look cooler on movies than they do up close.

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